Akatsuki2009

I've just been so depressed and my emotions are going up and down lately and there is so much I need to get off my chest but I'm terrified of talking to my parents because they'll make this whole big damn deal out of it and push me away even more than they already have.

So lately, I'd been questioning my own sexuality and a friend of mine helped me to kind of realize that I am in fact Bisexual and I do happen to be more attracted to girls than I am to boys but this also stems from something that happened to me as a child and will not be posted here for personal reasons. I am much more comfortable with girls than I am with boys but I can become comfortable with a boy so long as I have known them for a year or more or if I've known them for most of my life.

I want to leave this house and never return but as it is, I do not have the money to do so and I still need my license but I'm terrified of driving because of my height which is quite a disability when I'm trying to see out the back or see around the passenger when backing out.

I want to be able to do the things I want without my parents judging me and I want to be able to talk to them about the things going on in my life but all they do is yell at me and compare me to my little sister

Sometimes I just want to kill myself and be done with it but then I remember I have some amazing friends who love me for who I am and are always by my side. I remember they are the ones I am living for and that they want nothing but for me to be happy <3 they are the real reason I'm probably even sane right now and I love them so much. I just wish I could have them all with me so I could smother them with love and gifts and sob on their shoulders while I tell them how happy they make me.

God it felt good to rant... anyway, that's everything....

Going to be applying for college tomorrow and I'm super nervous!

I just... this week has been horrible... I don't want to hate God for what he did but I definitely don't like him right now... All I want to do is curl up and die... or cry my eyes out...

It seems I am at a cross-road in my life right now. It's probably been a long time coming but I've just started to question who I am, what I'm meant to be and what my sexuality is. I shouldn't let it hold me back, I know, but I am just a very insecure person when it comes to things like that.

Aside from that, I'm also in desperate need of story ideas. So if you have any and wanna toss one my way, go for it.

I just really need someone to talk to right now </3 just to get my mind off of all my worries and fears and insecurities for a little while. Is that too much to ask for....?